When the time has come to have a difficult conversation with a parent about their finances, tact is essential. If this conversation is difficult for you, it is likely twice as difficult for them. People often ask, How do you talk to an aging parent about finances? We are here to help.
At Marcia L. Campbell CPA, we have helped seniors maintain their dignity and independence while ensuring they are financially secure for decades with elder accounting services. Learn how to have this conversation in the second and final installment of this blog series.
How Do You Talk to an Aging Parent About Finances?
Talking about parents’ finances is never easy. From your tone to talking about debt, read on to learn how to talk to your parents about their finances.
Related Article: How Do You Talk to an Aging Parent About Finances, Pt. I?
Be clear and gentle
Your tone is everything for those wondering, How do you talk to an aging parent about finances? Money can feel taboo, especially for adult children, to bring up with their parents. Don’t make the conversation about money. Make it about big-picture topics.
In these situations, parents assume you are suggesting they don’t know what they’re doing. From the beginning, you want the vibe to be right. When the atmosphere feels tense before you even begin, it’s an uphill battle and could undermine your efforts.
Be candid, gentle, and heartfelt. If your parents feel judged during this conversation, this will do far more harm than good.
“Tone is truly everything in these delicate situations. The wrong tone could even make your parents feel like you are only interested in determining how much you will get out of the inheritance.” – Marcia L. Campbell, Private Fiduciary, Marcia L. Campbell CPA
Start the conversation by addressing the elephant in the room by saying, ‘Listen, I know this is going to be awkward, but I think this is an important conversation for your well-being.’ Remember to listen more than you speak.
Consider asking for their advice as a conversation starter, so the respect is clear and you can start steering the conversation in the right direction early. Some good questions to ask to set the right tone include:
- What are you most proud of that you did with your money?
- If you could do anything differently with your money, what would it have been?
- What financial advice should I pass down to my kids?
- What do you want me to achieve for my finances?
- How can I save for retirement?
Ask them what they want. Ask how they see their life one, five, or ten years from now and what kind of legacy they want to leave behind. You want them to walk away feeling like you care. This conversation is about supporting them. Not planning their life for them.
Related Article: Elder Care Accounting Services: What You Should Know
Talk About Paying Off Debt
If your parents have significant debt, this is essential to address for those wondering, How do you talk to an aging parent about finances? This talking point affects everyone.
Your parents may think it’s too late to save for retirement or pay down debt, but that guarantees that they will find themselves in a financial problem down the road. Talk about your experience.
Relay how better life has been for you and your family since you started paying off debt and budgeting. Tell them how, by acting now, they will see progress before they know it.
Related Article: 10 Ways to Help Your Parents with Their Finances
California’s Leading Elder Care CPA
So, how do you talk to an aging parent about finances? By putting yourself in their shoes and treating them how you would want them to treat you. Navigating the complex emotions of this conversation can be difficult, but enlisting premier elder care financial services, like Marcia L. Campbell, CPA, can help carry the weight of this responsibility so you can focus on making the most of the time with your parents.
Discussing finances with aging parents is undoubtedly a challenging task, and your article sheds light on the delicacy and thoughtfulness required in approaching this conversation. Your advice to focus on the big-picture topics rather than just money is invaluable. It’s true that addressing financial matters can unintentionally imply doubts about their capability, making the right tone absolutely crucial.
Your emphasis on being candid, gentle, and heartfelt resonates deeply. The point that the wrong tone might give rise to feelings of inheritance-driven motives is noteworthy. The suggested conversation starters, like asking for their advice or discussing their proudest financial moments, provide a compassionate way to initiate the discussion while fostering mutual respect.
The questions you recommend—about their financial advice, desired legacy, and long-term goals—are powerful tools to delve into the topic without imposing decisions upon them. By focusing on their aspirations and preferences, this conversation becomes a support system for them rather than a directive.
Furthermore, your acknowledgment of the emotional complexity of this talk and the role of elder care financial services like Marcia L. Campbell, CPA, in alleviating the burden is commendable. You’ve provided a comprehensive guide that showcases empathy, understanding, and practicality when engaging in such crucial discussions.