How Do I Talk to My Parents About Their Spending Habits?

An elderly couple enjoying retirement after their child answered the question, How do I talk to my parents about their spending habits?

Are you worried your parents have developed reckless and irresponsible spending habits? Helping them rein in spending is essential to minimizing stress, avoiding trouble down the road, and ensuring they can enjoy their retirement. But this conversation can be difficult to start, and many people ask, How do I talk to my parents about their spending habits? We’re more than happy to help.

At Marcia L. Campbell CPA, we have helped countless seniors manage their finances and make the most of their retirement with elder accounting services. Learn more in our blog.

Related Article: How Do You Know if Your Parents Are Struggling with Money? Pt. I

How Do I Talk to My Parents About Their Spending Habits?

Talking to your parents about spending is a minefield of complex dynamics and taboos, so taking the right approach is crucial. From setting the stage to seeking bookkeeping services for the elderly from elder care accountants, here is our guide!

Related Article: How Do You Talk to an Aging Parent About Finances? Pt. I

Choose the Right Moment and Setting

Your timing and the setting are key for those wondering, How do I talk to my parents about their spending habits? If your parents feel like you are blindsiding them with a heavy conversation, it does more harm than good.

Don’t choose a moment or environment in which they may feel uncomfortable, like with family at Thanksgiving or in the presence of mixed company. Only people who need to know the information and situation should be in the room.

“You’re tackling two complex issues: money and age. The conversation is delicate. Choose a moment where you’re both at ease and when they’re in a good mood. Maybe over lunch at your house looking at a photo album one-on-one or with siblings. Don’t ask about their spending habits after asking them to pass the Christmas ham.” 

– Marcia L. Campbell, CPA for Seniors

Avoid Judgment and Criticism

No matter how frustrating or concerning the situation, refrain from criticizing your parents. Criticizing how they spend their money will cause them to put their guard up and shut down, which is counterproductive.

If your parents aren’t experiencing cognitive decline, the truth is they have the right to spend their money as they please. But that doesn’t mean you can’t start the conversation. What you need to do is find a balance.

Above all, keep it respectful, loving, and positive, and avoid making your parents feel shame about the situation.

Related Article: How Do You Take Care of Elderly Parents’ Finances in California? Pt. I

Carefully Broach the Subject

Proceed with tact. Ask open-ended questions that don’t feel accusatory. Maybe ask what retirement looks like for them. You should ask questions that aren’t directly about their money situation and identify context clues as answers.

Consider couching these questions into advice. Maybe ask for guidance on what you should plan for your retirement, and you can get the answers you’re looking for. If your parents are still hesitant to discuss the topic, you can also share your own stories.

Have you reduced your spending in areas that didn’t make you feel deprived but helped you save a lot of money? These stories can be a great way to motivate your parents to gain control over their spending and have this difficult conversation.

Related Article: How Do You Take Care of Elderly Parents’ Finances in California? Pt. II

Be Candid and Willing to Take Control

Being candid and willing to take control of the situation if you are pondering, How do I talk to my parents about their spending habits? They have a right to spend their money how they want, but you have a right to express concern about being able to help support them.

To drive your point home, gathering evidence can help. Print out statements detailing how much they’re spending versus how much they’re earning. Reiterate that controlling their spending will be how they will be able to maintain their independence.

Most of all, however, you have to be ready to take control. Set limits on their spending, and meeting with a CPA fiduciary can be a great way to help them understand how long their money will last and what they have to save to enjoy retirement.

Other options you have include working with a private fiduciary for the elderly to assign them as power of attorney over a bank account or as the trustee of a living trust with your parents’ assets to oversee their spending and income.

When you work with a private professional fiduciary like Marcia L. Campbell to manage your parent’s finances, you can receive this assistance and more.

Related Article: What Are the Elder Care Financial Service Options in California?

Do You Need Help Managing Your Parents Spending? Find a Professional Fiduciary CPA Today!

Now you should have some of the answers you need for the question, How do I talk to my parents about their spending habits? Choose the right moment, approach the conversation with love and respect, and offer solutions to help them manage their finances while maintaining their dignity and independence. Do your parents need assistance managing their finances?

Visit our Contact Page and schedule a consultation for elder financial services that will provide peace of mind and a clear pathway to enabling them make the most of their retirement!

A child going talking with parents after answering the question, How do I talk to my parents about their spending habits?

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